“Hi y’all and welcome back to the Great Gossip where I, Glenda the Gossip Girl, find the juiciest gossip then tell it to loving fans” (A-K-A every pickel walrus in pickel walrus land).

“How, you ask? Well I have a secret… I can magically transform into a mini cheese  that jumps super high (Why? How should I know ask the weird writer who writes this crazy stuff). Today’s target; Idward Fancy-undies I’m at his house an… It is a dump.”

“Hey you what are you doing here!” Oh no he sees me I’ll just pretend to be an illegal-weapon-selling-pickle-salesman.

“HI, would you like to buy a hand grenade?”

“Oh, phew I thought you were a home intruder but your just an illegal-weapon-selling-pickle-salesman here’s my diary.”

“Haha too easy, okay what does it say; my wife is cheating on me with Hammy-sammy. Wow that’s pretty personal, meh what do I care time to tell everyone…”

5 DAYS LATER

“This mob of angry people I exposed sure is fast huh, I’ll just move to Florida and gossip with the nice palm trees that live there. Glenda gossiper blasting off again… In my rocket ship you didn’t know I had (wait why was I running for 5 days if I had a rocket ship this whole time).”